Broken and Thankful

As I start my second year of college, I can't help but laugh at how different my life is than what I expected just 365 days ago.

College is a time where we meet all sorts of people with different ideas and perspectives than us. If there is anything that this exposure has given me, it is the understanding that not one of us is "better" than the other. Every person is so incredibly unique and, for a lack of better words, cool. It's easy to get caught up in  the idea that everyone is so great or that you, as an individual, is so great. But at the end of the day, we aren't all that different from one another. As a species, we are all pretty dark and broken and there are parts of each one of us that we don't want others to see. To be honest, we are a big bunch of defective creatures who are on the hunt for some sort of clarity.

I came into college completely unaware of how deep of a desire I had to understand it all. Growing up in the church, I thought I knew what I needed to know and that my blind faith would carry me to the end of the ages. But as I entered into that stage of life where losing your faith is expected, God was persistent. He was loud and He was in my face and if I'm giving credit where credit is due, Jesus is the only one whose name deserves to be heard. Because of Him, a series of incredible interventions were made and several people were placed along my path to remind me why I am alive. Fortunately, college has been a time of spiritual growth unlike anything I could have expected.

But, it is not all sunshine. C.S. Lewis said it best: "If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.” While this past year has brought me an overabundance of joy, I have also become aware of how broken I am. Just a glimpse of a my utter humanness has been revealed, and it is unsightly. There are days and sometimes weeks that go by where I feel completely apathetic toward everything Jesus has done for me. I will open my bible grudgingly and keep my heart closed off from its very creator. My prayers can be spiteful and my words sometimes come from a hollow heart.

I am a child who will continually fall short.

So much has happened in the past year, and so much will continue to change. His faithfulness will never fail, and for that I am beyond thankful. But, it is so important to remember that I am a work in progress. Just because I believe that there isn't anything more important than Jesus doesn't mean I am any less a sinner than anyone else in this world. I am foolish and I am a sinner. I have a deep need Christ and the longing in my soul can only be healed by Him.

My prayer for this year is especially for incoming freshmen. In the most confusing time of your life, I pray that Jesus makes Himself so bright that you can't help but want to stay by Him. Embrace community, challenge your faith, and love your campus radically.