The expectation for being in love is tainted. Growing up, every romantic comedy I saw painted a disastrous picture of romance in such a seemingly beautiful way. Love was cheating on your husband with an old friend and realizing that your passion for this old friend was so much more life-giving than your pathetic husband, so you move across the country to be with him. Love was screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, and at 2 am and you're cursing his name. Name-calling and monstrous fights and heartbreak were all fair because that's the price you had to pay. In my impressionable little eyes, love was nothing if it wasn't passionate and gut-wrenching and involved hysterical tears and maybe even throwing rocks at a window.
Here are some REAL LIFE examples of what youth considers tru luv...
This is a huge problem.
If love is war, if love is only mad passion and nothing else, if true love means screaming and fighting, then I don't want that. I don't want to lock myself into some twisted relationship that's "us against the world". I don't want to be with someone who thinks that breaking my heart every day is okay simply because it's supposed to hurt.
I refuse to accept pop culture's definition of love. I refuse to love a boy who only shows me respect when he likes me, and I hope that I can be better than allowing my current mood or my current feelings toward someone affect my promise to love them. Now, I'm not oblivious to the inevitable hurt that will come after two people link arms and decide that they're in this together. There will be mean words spoken, patience tested, and disagreements. However, this shouldn't define their relationship by any means. How dare we belittle something as wonderful as love to something so shallow, superficial, and ludicrous.
The truth is, Love came down and showed us who He is. Love healed the blind, the lepers, and the lame. Love restored life to the dead. Love wept with those who were mourning. Love turned the dirtiest water into the tastiest wine. Love watched His friend deny Him three times, and then hung on a cross to save him from eternal despair.
Love is a lot bigger than a feeling. Love is precious and holy and gentle and kind. Love is patient and beautiful. We shouldn't settle for a relationship that mimics the kind we hear about in Taylor Swift's songs. Let us be the people who love without bounds. Let us define love by its selflessness and devotion rather than its passionate fights and temporary highs.
*disclaimer: I love Taylor Swift.